btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
