We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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