i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
