No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
