He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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