I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
