Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
