I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
