what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
