I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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