You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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