Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize