This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
