saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
