WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
