Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just had sex on a roof
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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