I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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