One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
