If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
