There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
