Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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