im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
