FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Damn victory sex feels great
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
