u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
