I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
