I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
