i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
