We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
