Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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