I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We need to rekindle our bromance
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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