so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
