my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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