Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think my mom watched the whole time
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
