last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
