IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
