ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize