Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
