the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
