omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it because I queefed?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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