the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
