Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
