What did we do last night that was yellow?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
