Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
