lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
