you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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