People in love make me want to vomit
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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