You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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