I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
BRING THE BAGELS
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
