Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
