Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
