would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
