I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
