k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I look better un-naked...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
