Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize