I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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