Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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