Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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