THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
