$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
