Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
