i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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