Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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