We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How does one acquire holy water?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
