im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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