So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
