I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
