You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize