I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
