Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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