i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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