Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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