I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
