Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
