Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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