i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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