I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
