Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
